Thursday, August 16, 2007

LMS: Batman Vs Spider-man

In today's Last Man Standing, there really should be no contest as to who wins. The Wizard writers make it a really hilarious battle though!

And Michael Turner looks like he was BORN to draw Spider-man. Not much so Batman though.

Batman vs. Spider-Man Art by Michael Turner and Peter Steigerwald

225 lbs.Weight165 lbs.
Stinking richFinancial StatusDirt poor
CatwomanFeline-Themed GirlfriendBlack Cat

THE PLAYERS: After watching a mugger murder his parents, young Bruce Wayne embarked on a one-man war on crime, prowling the night as the brooding vigilante Batman!

Given superpowers from a radioactive spider bite, Peter Parker learned a harsh lesson about power and responsibility and now fights evil as the amazing Spider-Man!

THE BATTLE: On assignment in Gotham City for the Daily Bugle, photographer Peter Parker goes on some late-night web swinging and comes across Batman roughing up a thug. “Hey, tall, dark and gruesome—ix-nay on the eating-bay,” Spidey quips as he drops to the alleyway beside the Dark Knight. Batman ignores him. “I guess those big ears of yours are just for show,” Spider-Man opines as he webs up Batman’s fist, preventing him from striking the criminal. Suddenly, the wall-crawler’s spider-sense warns him of danger, and he leaps onto a nearby wall just in time to avoid a cluster of Batarangs. In the confusion, Batman deploys a smoke grenade that quickly envelops the entire alleyway. “Get out of my city,” Batman growls from inside the inky black cloud. “But I haven’t even seen the sights yet,” Spider-Man retorts as he sprays webbing in a vain attempt to snare the vigilante. Batman drops from the rooftop onto Spidey’s back, sending them both tumbling into the smoke-filled alley. Disoriented, Spider-Man blindly lashes out, landing a glancing blow that nearly takes the Caped Crusader’s head off. Knowing that he has to put Spider-Man down fast, Batman—moving too quickly for the Web-head to dodge—lands a nerve punch to the amazing arachnid’s solar plexus. “Feel free to surrender anytime,” Spidey groans as he falls to the ground, unconscious and defeated!


Anonymous said...

Okay, now my opinion is biased, but I'm attempting to remain totally objective.

Spider-Man should have won.

My opinion is based not on the fact that Spider-Man is stronger (much stronger), faster (much faster), and more agile (much much more agile) than Batman; it is based on the method by which Batman defeated Spider-man.

A nerve punch. Now, I realize Spidey isn't a juggernaut, and that a punch from Batman would still have great impact, but the fact is they were both fighting blind in a smoke filled alley.

Given their proximity and the fact that Peter can and has taken hits from stronger villain, a blow as simple as a nerve strike would be nearly impossible to accomplish versus the arachknight.

My reasoning is thus: Spider-Man's spider sense is a precognative warning system that allows him (coupled with his seperately enhanced reflexes) to dodge bullets. Batman cannot punch as fast as a bullet.

Also, in the smoke filled alley, Batman (while trained to fight without his eyes) would not be able to strike with the same kind of accuracy. He would be limited to general predictions and strikes; all of which Spider-Man's spider sense would warn him off. Batman might know where Spidey leaps and dodges, but he wouldn't have the speed to land the blow.

Batman getting the 'drop' on Spidey seems like a load of hogwash also. Given the fact he was know leaping on top of Spidey until after he threw his batarangs, Batman would have been easily avoided by Spider-Man.

Mainly, I feel Spider-Man was being cheapened by the Wizard staff because he's just "not as serious as the Bat."

We shouldn't forget that Spider-Man is a veteran hero, so getting the drop on him (No matter how good you are) simply doesn't happen without somehow taking care of his Spider sense first.

I don't doubt that Batman has a fighting edge because of his skill, but Spider-Man isn't some rookie brawler or easy target. He's danced around other heroes and villains whose sole gift in life is fighting (Martial Arts ie. Iron Fist, Shang-Chi, etc). I feel he could easily stand up to Batman.

Batman is also strongest when he has a plan, meaning he needs time. Spidey is a power planner too, but he has the better improvisational skills between the two (nurtured/coupled with his speed/agility/danger sense). If Batman really had Spidey get the drop on him, the fight (in my opinion) would have been very different, starting with the moment Pete hit the alley.

The remarks about him blindly swinging in the alley, possibly the case; but when he battles someone like the Spot and does not know exactly which portal his enemy is coming from, he doesn't just swing wild. His spider sense guides him to the dangerous area, where he swings, and scores the hit.

The remarks about firing his webs blindly in the smoke and missing Batman, total Malarky. He fires off weblines in general directions, guided by his reflexes and spider sense. He never has to see his target to know if he hits or not. His spider sense adjusts him to always aim true with amazing skill. Considering also the speed with which his webs must propell themselves I feel that it would be much faster than Batman can dodge (though I could be wrong).

Spidey's level of endurance is also incredible. True a blow to the nerve can cripple even the mightiest foe, I don't think Batman would have the same luck striking the 'exact' point on Spidey that he needs too. Spidey moves too much that the blow would miss by inches or even feet.

If Batman had grappled Spidey, he'd learn quickly just how strong the arachknight really is, and by then it'd bee too late.

Batman's cape is also an achilles heel too, because it's movement would warn Peter just where Batman is, as well as give Pete an easy target to suddenly drag Bats around by.

I think I've demonstrated enough points as to why this particular senario would not have resulted as such.

Chibi Masshuu said...

I'm completely biased, I loved Batman with such an unhealthy zeal it's not funny.

In the end I say he still takes Spidey, but I agree Wizard's account of the conflict is less than thrilling.

The two have met before, worked together in fact, but if there's anything DC has hit us over the head with is that Batman is all about keeping your enemies close and your friends closer.

The fight should have been a little prolonged with the Bat making use of a few more tools than a smoke pellet and a batarang or two.

Anonymous said...

Well, Im not gonna debate the wizard idea that Batman defeat Spiderman i bilieved too.
But the why he defeat him.

With a nerve punch?

Know i believe too that the strenght and abilities that spiderman adquired beacause od the bite od a radiactive spider, does not make crucial factors to defeat Batman, since must people see the powers and abilities of a metahuman, inhuman mutant, alien etc. as a apart and not as whole of a character can do and possible do making and unfair perception in this case with batman.

I believed that he might be accurate enought to strike in the dark or smoke, i mean we can grant this attribute to Batman, he has earned it since he used frecuently as method of fight and train to do so.

But in a more logical context taking reference the way of thinking and perception of things from both characters.

Batman should win using more than fighting skills,athletics,intelligence,deductive skills(sense of weak patterns) and normal gadgets.
but to use a suit more accord to the opponet his fighting not his standard suit, because he just needs to increase his skills at that level (strenght, endurance, long quarter offensive attacks.
This would be a fair battle that should end in the victory of Batman.

Otherwise just put in a fight Bruce Wayne and Peter Parker without the radioactive spider bite.

Anonymous said...

I know this is pretty unimportant, but here we go.

Spiderman is probably my favorite superhero of all time...
that said, Batman could probably take down the wall crawler. And as lame as the ending was (a nerve pinch?), it is probably the most reasonable way for Batman to defeat Spidey.

Spiderman is not a brilliant improvisor... in fact, a lot of the time, he royally screws up. He makes many mistakes despite his spider-sense. Batman makes few, very very few, if any mistakes. Batman has a plan for practically every situation already in his head.

Spiderman is stronger, but his fighting skill is about as advanced as a three year olds. Not that spidey can't fight, but that really, all he knows how to do is punch and kick a little. Now, he does of course interweave these two "stellar" attacks with his spiderlike agility and combines it with his superpowers to broaden his arsenal of attacks, but his fighting style is not at all refined.

I didn't know that Batman was taught to fight blind, but if you're taught to fight blind, I'm sorry, but that is probably a bit more important than spider-sense. I say this because being taught to fight blind means you are actually making hits (and if you're Batman, you probably train yourself to have each hit land). Now, this means that you are somehow profoundly away of your environment at all times. If you "just have" spider-sense, then where is the incentive to train it? You can already dodge bullets thanks to a gift from God! You didn't earn that. I think one of Spider-man's biggest downfalls in fights is that he takes his powers for granted. He has them and does what he can with them. If he actually trained in hand-to-hand combat, we're talking about an entirely different scenario. But again, where's the incentive to do that?

I am tempted to say that Bats could take a blow from Spidey, but I just don't know... mostly because Marvel's specs of Spidey seem to change whenever they come out with a new breakdown of Spidey's powers and abilities and/or when we see Spidey in action (they say he can lift 10 tons, but then he struggles to lift a sedan? I don't get it, I am really confused). Likewise, there will be a time when we see that Spidey is not "pulling his punches," but it still isn't enough to take down a physically weak villain.

As far as Batman maneuvering in smoke, come on, he's trained to do that too. Of course that is going to play to his advantage.

That said, it sounds like this fight was too brief. I think we must also keep in mind that most of these "what if verses" scenarios are just for fun... they couldn't be anything else because if the "actual" scenario happened, it wouldn't look anything like these fights. If Thor were transported to Metropolis, he wouldn't even have his powers (he isn't a god in the DC Universe, No godliness, no power)!! The Sun that Marvel's universe has is not the same as the one in the DC Universe; could Supes actually BE empowered by Marvel's sun?