Review: All-Star Batman and Robin the Boy Wonder Vol.1 HC

Well, since I’m trying to keep this blog somewhat active, I thought I’d start doing some reviews on comics I’ve recently read. Some reviews will be very brief, some will be extremely lengthy, like this first one I’m doing. Some will have lots of pictures (when I can be bothered to scan them in) and some will just be Bendis-like wordy.

I thought I’d start on perhaps one of the most popular and talked about regular series in the last three years or so…and it so coincides that DC Comics released the first nine issues in a handy hardcover collection. I’m talking about Frank Miller and Jim Lee’s All-Star Batman and Robin the Boy Wonder.

Sure, there are other comics I love more and I’m primarily a Marvel Comics man. But I just read the new All-Star Batman and Robin HC from cover to cover and it’s fresh in my mind, plus I DO have a lot of things to say about it. It’s controversial, if nothing else.

No one writes Batman like Frank Miller. And while that can be taken as a compliment, I’m afraid, in the case of All-Star Batman and Robin, it’s not. Miller has written perhaps the two most important important stories in Batman lore: The Dark Knight Returns and Batman: Year One. If you were a comics fan, you’d know these two storylines, along with Batman: The Killing Joke are THE classic Batman stories in his 60 plus year history.

You can relate to Miller’s Batman in both Dark Knight and Year One. In Dark Knight, he’s a crazy old coot that’s forced out of retirement but still wants to prove to the world that he’s the ultimate badass. In Year One, Batman is still a rookie, learning the ropes and the reader gets to see a Batman before he starts becoming infallible, before he starts becoming the world’s greatest detective.

In All-Star Batman and Robin though? Miller’s Batman is an utter nutjob, a loon, a psychopath. I would like to present Exhibit A, perhaps the most controversial and certainly most talked about AND parodied panel in the series so far:

Yes, Miller’s Batman not only goes on to insult the Boy Wonder by calling him dense and retarded, but he also refers to himself in the third person. But he doesn’t refer to himself as “The Dark Knight Detective”. He doesn’t call himself “the caped crusader”. He doesn’t even call himself the “I can kick your ass any day of the week and make you pee your pants in fear” Batman. No, he refers to himself as the “goddamn Batman”.

If you think calling Batman “goddamn-ed” once in this series was bad enough, well, somehow, it transcends to the supporting characters in the series too. Other characters have referred to Batman as “goddamn-ed”. Case in point:

Though in that last panel, I suppose Robin had a reason to refer to Batman that way, since that’s how he was introduced to Bats in the first place.

For the other panels though, it’s as if Batman has telepathically influenced Commissioner Gordon and Black Canary so that they start referring to him as “goddamn-ed”. They seem to be able to “read” Batman’s thought and speech balloons and steal his thoughts and make them their own!

Hell, they call him the “goddamn Batman” so much that this series really should be renamed as The Goddamn Batman and Robin the Boy Wonder.

Miller’s Batman, as I said before, is certifiably nuts. One thinks that he probably belongs in Arkham Asylum, along with all the other crazies he’s put in there. What other Batman will laugh insanely, a la the Joker, while terrorising the criminal element in Gotham City?

While that panel is just above, I’ll address something else. The dialogue in All-Star Batman and Robin is…entertaining to read, but you’d have to REALLY suspend your belief to imagine Batman ever saying stuff like: “You don’t know from screwed, you losers.”

It’s as if one has put the book down and started watching Army of Darkness on DVD! What’s Batman going to say next: “Listen up your effeminate screwheads! This is my BATARANG!?!” Though the way this series has gone so far, I wouldn’t be in the least surprised if Ra’s Al Ghul is some sort of ancient sorcerer and turns up with the Necronomicon in hand.

There are quite a number of other one-liners in the series that one would never expect Batman to utter, like “Eat glass, lawman!” and “I’ll break your goddamn neck” and even “You poor little bastard”.

What is this, Sin City’s version of Batman? I’ve got a whole bunch of memorable and controversial one-liners in the first nine issues that will be at the end of the post. Will just round up the one-liners with this panel:

I swear to you, when I read that panel, I automatically thought of former WCW and WWE wrestler Booker T and imagined Batman doing the spinneroonie. Hell I know what 2 + 2 is! Thomas Jefferson sucka! (Just a bit of The Rock humour there, folks.)

Miller’s Batman is brutal and unforgiving. He takes sadistic pleasure in inflicting pain, even torture!

You will believe this Batman will kill if he needs to…something that the regular DC Universe Batman abhors. In one scene, All-Star Batman even tells Green Lantern that superheroes’ are criminals and always have been criminals!

So how different is this Batman from the one we all know in the regular DC Universe? I present to you a collection of Robin’s thoughts about the All-Star version:

And the coup de grace:

Robin thinks Batman is a tool! That is simply hilarious!

All-Star Batman and Robin is published on a bimonthly schedule, or at least when Jim Lee manages to crank out new issues in time for release anyway. While it doesn’t have a history of lateness like some titles such as Ultimates, Ultimate Hulk Vs Wolverine and even Battle Chasers way back in the day, it DOES suffer from “late issue” syndrome.

Having said that though, just like Ultimates and Battle Chasers before it, when new issues do hit the stands it usually is well worth the wait. Jim Lee has been an influential penciller in the comics industry for nearly 20 years…but believe it or not, like a fine wine, his pencilling seems to mature with age.

It was his art alone that got me hooked on X-Men way back in 1991. I still remember buying multiple copies of X-Men #1 just so I could cut out the pretty pictures! I’d argue that his art now far surpasses his seminal work in the early 90s in the pages of X-Men and his creator-owned WildC.A.T.S.

Just check out this beautiful six-page spread of the Batcave (apologies in advance that the scans aren’t that great):

Look closely and you can see many different versions of the Batmobile in the Batcave, including the 60s Adam West and Burt Ward TV series Batmobile, the Batmobile from the Animated Series and even the Batmobile from the big screen movies! There’s also Spartan war gear…a nod to Frank Miller’s 300?

And while Jim Lee doesn’t draw the most babelicious women in comics (that honour would go to Frank Cho in my opinion, with perhaps J. Scott Campbell and Terry Dodson not far away!), the women he draws are still smoking hot!

Who else but Jim Lee would dare to draw shots of Wonder Woman with the camera angle focusing down on her…assets?

Another exceptional thing about All-Star Batman and Robin is the fantastic supporting cast. Batman may be the main man, but if you’ve read the series, you’ll instantly care about Robin and Alfred.

Alfred is loyal, he’s reliable and he knows his place. But at the same time, he takes crap from no one, not even if the crap is being dished out by his employer, the goddamn Batman:

Not sure whether it was the script calling for it or Jim Lee over-exaggerating the poses, but there was a scene where Alfred, sans top, is trying to help Vicki Vale to her feet after she gets injured in a car crash. But the scene looks so…morbid, as if Alfred had some evil intentions for Ms Vale! Case in point:

Miller’s Robin is like an extremely young Spider-man. He’s witty and dishes out the snappy banter. He doesn’t keep still, not for a second, always constantly in motion like the graceful acrobat that he is. And Robin is not afraid to pay Batman out for his choice in equipment and gear:

Oh, but it doesn’t stop there. Calling Batman queer must be contagious because Black Canary does the same thing!

I must admit, calling one’s high tech souped-up top-of-the-line vehicle the “Batmobile” does sound pretty fruity.

Not all funny moments revolve around Robin though. Miller’s Batman can be funny too when he wants to. He goes so far to call Green Lantern a moron with “the imagination of a potato”…oops, sorry, I meant a “goddamn potato”. (Yes, we all love it when Batman swears!) And what are Batman’s thoughts about Green Lantern’s weakness to the colour yellow?

In fact, Batman dislikes Green Lantern so much, he meets GL in one of his safehouses…with the interior already painted completely yellow! And then he taunts GL with a glass of lemonade.

Oh, but it doesn’t stop there! Robin picks up on Batman’s taunts and soon follows suit!

What a rube indeed.

Miller doesn’t just stop with Batman’s immediate supporting cast though. He also introduces the Justice League in the series, portraying them more like the Squadron Supreme, willing to get things done just on principle alone, than the Justice League we all know and love.

Heck, he portrays Wonder Woman as a man-hating dyke, even going so far as to get Batman to call her “the wicked witch of Lesbos Island”! This Wonder Woman is unnecessarily aggressive and she’s willing to kill anyone who stands in her way.

But, as the very next panel shows, she also enjoys some tough love and being submissive. Yes, Supes. She really is “a very nice girl”. What is this, the 60s? Whatta putz.

This series has everything! An aggro, mental Batman, swearing his head off by referring to himself as the “goddamn Batman”. The Justice League being portrayed as a bunch of maniacs who can’t get along. And there’s even a sex scene in the book!

Most controversial series for quite some time? You betcha.

For all the controversy, I do enjoy reading All-Star Batman and Robin. It is one of the most refreshing reads I’ve had in a while. I know I can expect the unexpected in the series and for all of Miller’s butchering of the Dark Knight, he keeps us interested long enough to purchase the next issue, just to see what else is in store.

If only this series were released more frequently than six times a year…and that’s if we’re lucky!

Quotable quotes from All-Star Batman and Robin

“So we’ve got a man of steel in Metropolis…and why exactly is it we call him a man of steel? That does bring certain thoughts to mind.” – Vicki Vale, on Superman

“On your feet, soldier. You’ve just been drafted. Into a war.” – Batman, sounding suspiciously like Captain America

“You poor boy. You poor little bastard. Welcome to hell.” – Batman, with a Sin City-influenced tinge to his dialogue.

“What, are you dense? Are you retarded or something? Who the hell do you think I am? I’m the goddamn Batman.” – The goddamn Batman speaketh!

“Shut up.” – Batman to Robin, Robin to Batman, Batman to Black Canary, Everyone to Plastic Man…the most overused two words in the series

“I touched my mother’s breast.” – Quote from Batman taken horribly out of context

“Sir, I am your butler. I am your aide. I am your medic. I am not, however, your slave. Unhand me.” – Badass Alfred to Batman

“Out of my way, sperm bank.” – A pissed off feminist version of Wonder Woman to some random man

“I’m ready for my punishment, Princess Pea. Shower it on.” – Plastic Man to Wonder Woman

“Never have a detective for a Dad. Not unless you’re really good at bullshitting him. And always throw in a smile when you’re bullshitting your Dad.” – Barbara Gordon, on Commissioner James Gordon

“Eat glass, lawman!” – Batman, as he kicks through a windscreen into a corrupt cop’s face

“You don’t know from screwed, you losers!” – Batman to a bunch of thugs

“We keep our masks on. It’s better that way.” – Batman, with Black Canary on the pier doing…questionable things

“This is love. In my own special way.” – Joker, as he brutally beats up attorney Donna Gugina after having had his way with her

“We can’t print Jocko-Boy’s response, due to standards of decency. The response demands an anatomical impossibility.” – Editor’s note after Batman throws Jocko-Boy into the sea

“I’ve got a retarded demigod to take care of. Demigod, my foot. He’s just a clown with more power than he knows what to do with.” – Batman, on Green Lantern

“I’ve seen more intelligent hockey pucks.” – Batman, on Green Lantern’s smarts

“The clown makes oversized eggbeaters and mouse traps and vacuum cleaners…when he could set the whole world straight with that ring. What a damn idiot.” – Batman, on Green Lantern

“Whoa. Here comes a big flashlight. Very inventive, Emerald Crusader.” – Batman’s thoughts, as Green Lantern creates…a big green flashlight.

“Here he’s got a power ring that can do anything he can imagine…but that’s his whole problem. He’s got the imagination of a goddamn potato.” – Batman, on Green Lantern

“He can’t even make himself a green dandelion with that ring of his if what he’s up against is yellow. Dumbest weakness I ever heard of…” – Batman, on Green Lantern’s weakness to the colour yellow

“There’s child labour laws about this sort of thing. This is exploitation of a minor. How’d you like me to sic some fat bureaucrat on your ass, big guy? Don’t think I won’t!” – Robin complaining about being asked to paint the interior of one of Batman’s safehouses completely yellow in anticipation of a showdown against Green Lantern

“Then there’s you and that little joy luck club you’re putting together.” – Batman on the Justice League

“The wicked witch of Lesbos Island, the last candy-pants of a blown-up planet, a shape-changer who’s nuttier than a fruitcake, and you, master of the giant green egg-beater when you’re not plagued by a primary colour.” – Batman, on Wonder Woman, Superman, Plastic Man and Green Lantern

“Care for a glass of lemonade? You really should try the lemonade. On a hot day like this, it’s a godsend.” – Batman taunting Green Lantern with a glass of lemonade

“Guess the man wants a fight after all, huh, boss? Here’s some more fresh-squeezed lemonade!” Robin, taunting Green Lantern

“What a rube.” Robin, on Green Lantern

“You stupid little snot.” Batman to Robin, after Robin accidentally injures Green Lantern

“And if you puke, I’ll break your goddamn neck.” Batman to Robin, after a grisly scene when Batman patches up an injured Green Lantern

More unseen audition footage of Bruce Campbell!

Lots more Bruce Campbell! Well not really...this was the LAST Bruce Campbell script I wrote. But I enjoyed every single minute of writing Bruce Campbell's extraordinary adventures!

This one written on 6 July 2007, inspired by some very famous movies:


Panel 1 - Completely empty, with just the words filling up the panel.

Dialogue box: "For the first time ever! Never before seen audition footage of Bruce Campbell!"


Panel 2 - Darth Vader and BC, in full Jedi gear, in combat on the Death Star, lightsaber and chainsaw interlocked together.

Dialogue box: "Star Wars!"

Darth Vader: "I've been waiting for you Obi-Wan. The circle is now complete. When I left you, I was the learner, but now I am the master."

BC: "Honey, you got reeeeal ugly."


Panel 3 - BC and Vader are still locked in combat, Vader whirling his lightsaber while BC waves his chainsaw around like a madman.

Darth Vader: "The force is strong in this one."

BC: "Say hello to the 21st century! Come get some."


Panel 4 - BC as Indiana Jones, seated in one of those mining carts from The Temple of Doom. Shorty (that annoying Asian kid from Temple of Doom) is seated next to him with an anguished look on his face. Shorty's hands are clasped to both sides of his face, a la Macaulay Culkin in Home Alone. BC snaps his whip to release the clutch/lever to get the mining cart moving off the track.

Dialogue box: "Indiana Jones!"

Shorty: "Indy! They're behind us!"

BC: "Buckle up bonehead, 'cause we're going for a ride!"



Panel 5 - The boat from Jaws. BC is dressed as the grizzled Captain and Roy Schneider (the doctor from Jaws) has just seen the Great White shark and backs into the cabin of the boat uttering the most famous line from the movie.

Dialogue box: "Jaws!"

Roy Schneider: "You're gonna need a bigger boat."

BC: "Now whoa whoa whoa right there, spinach chin!"


Panel 6 - BC advances to the stern of the boat and spots the Great White. He pulls out his shotgun and waves it frantically in the air.

BC: "Look here you ugly mug, this is my BOOMSTICK!"


Panel 7 - The shark swims away.

BC: "That's it, go ahead and run. Run home and cry to mama!"


Panel 8 - BC is dressed as Gandalf, in the famous scene from Lord of the Rings where he "sacrifices" himself to block the Balrog's past.

Dialogue box: "The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring!"

Frodo: "Gandalf!"

BC (turning backwards): "Who wants to know?"


Panel 9 - BC raises his chainsaw in an attempt to scare the Balrog off.

BC: "My name's Ashley J. Williams. I work in S-Mart. Housewares. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You got that? Run home and cry to mama."


Panel 10 - BC slams his chainsaw down onto the ground.

BC: "YOU !!! SHALL NOT !!! PASS....WIND !!!"


Panel 11 - The Balrog looks confused for a moment, then advances.


Panel 12 - BC tries a different approach.

BC: "Uh...klaatu varada nikto?"

Capt A and...The Matrix?

The next script comes courtesy of Theo. I had no part in scripting it (except for a tiny little edit and giving additional suggestions). We were chatting over the phone about how we used to laugh at our little in-jokes that we'd create when watching movies and he came up with this:


Right, Ian and I were discussing our Lord of The Rings jokes quite a long time ago and how we'd have Hugo Weaving saying to Frodo: "Welcome to the Matrix, Frodo" and Gandalf proclaiming that he is Magneto... then in all the Captain A(sh) furore, I came up with this:

Agent Smith (asking gravely and pointing at Captain Ash's forehead): What's the A on your head stand for? Anderson?
Capt Ash: Who wants to know?
Agent Smith: I am Agent Smith. Agent of the Matrix, some time rebel leader of the elves, leader of the Decepticons and anarchist, V.
Ash: Well hello Mister Fancypants. Well, I've got news for you pal, you ain't leadin' but two things: Jack and shit... and Jack just left town.
*points double barreled shotgun under Smith's nose and shoots*

Ian: Just added that red bit there since Hugo Weaving also voiced Megatron in the live action Transformers movie!

Mary Jane you wench (a continuation)!

And here's a little bonus for you, just before I leave this blog for the weekend: part 2 of the story!

This was also scripted on the same day after Theo gave me a suggestion to use Superman since he was already in the background...nonchalantly thrown in by me in the first script as a sight gag. How it came back and paid dividends!


Panel Y (actually, let's just call this Panel 8) - As Captain Ash and Spider-man charge towards each other, Superman, who was a casual observer several panels ago (talk about foreshadowing!) all of a sudden flies down and swoops up Mary Jane in his arms.


Panel 9 - Captain Ash and Spider-man stop momentarily and look up to the sky. Spider-man points upwards.

Spider-man: "Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane!"

BC: "It's some schmuck in red undies with your girlfriend, you moron!"


Panel 10 - Up in the sky, Superman has Mary Jane in his arms. She doesn't look afraid though...she's embracing Superman with her arms around his neck!

Mary Jane: "So...are you really more powerful than a locomotive? I mean...everywhere?"


Panel 11 - Mary Jane looks down at Superman's...uh...package.

Mary Jane: "Please don't say you're faster than a speeding bullet."


Panel 12 - Superman nods and Mary Jane leans in and kisses him on the lips.


Panel 13 - Superman gives the reader a knowing wink.

Superman: "Hail to the SUPER king, baby!"

Mary Jane you wench!

I present to you: The further adventures of Captain Ash! As I said before, I was just on a roll and having a blast scripting Bruce Campbell as Captain America. There's just something so inherently WRONG (and hilarious) about someone in the red, white and blue costume spouting inane lines like "Yo, she-bitch!" and "Come get some", you know?

This one was a two parter. I originally couldn't think up a good ending for this script, so I left it at that and asked for suggestions from Theo. 5 July 2007 once again:


Panel 1 - Captain Ash has Mary Jane Watson in his arms and about to kiss her. MJ clearly has a disgusted look at her face and her hands are trying to push Ash back.

BC: "Gimme some sugar baby."


Panel 2 - All of a sudden, Spider-man swings out of nowhere and kicks Captain Ash in the face.

BC: "Oof!"


Panel 3 - Spider-man and Captain Ash face down each other. Spider-man shoots some web fluid at Captain Ash, who easily cuts it away with his chainsaw. You can clearly see Superman in the background, with red underwear on, flying past, watching the fight.

Dialogue box: "In the most astonishing crossover movie this summer: It's a fight to the death as Captain America and Spider-man fight for Mary Jane Watson's affections...TO THE DEATH!

Spider-man: "You stay away from her, freak!"

BC: "Looks who's talking, you effeminate screwhead! Who dresses up in their underwear to fight?"


Panel 4 - Spider-man puts himself between MJ and Captain Ash.

Spider-man: "To get to her, you've got to go through me!"


Panel 5 - Ash spits on the ground and pulls out his boomstick.

BC: "Yo, she-bitch! Let's go!"


Panels 6 onwards - As much of a fight scene as possible. Please take creative license here Theo...have Captain Ash fighting dirty and cram in as many cheesy "Wham! Bap! Pow!" bubbles like those on the Batman TV series.


Panel X - Spider-man and Captain Ash, clearly tired, their costumes torn and tattered and both men sweating and bleeding, hunch over and face each other for the final time.

BC: "You still want a piece of me? Huh? Come get some."



Alright. I was inspired by this seemingly crazy crossover, but now I can't seem to think of a proper ending that will do this justice. Suggestions, Theo? At this rate, we can have a weekly strip of just Bruce Campbell as Captain America!

When Captain America throws his mighty shiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeld...

More scripts featuring Captain Ash! At least, that was the name I coined since "Bruce Campbell as Captain America" just was too bloody long.

This one, once again, was on 5 July 2007:


By popular demand (from the one other person who actually comes to read the stuff we post here): More of Bruce Campbell's misadventures as the Star Spangled Centurion - Captain Ash!


Panel 1 - Captain Ash and Iron Man, standing some distance away, like one of those showdowns you see in Westerns. (Camera angle: Perhaps starting from Iron Man's waist, and you see Captain America in the background. To emphasise that it's a "Western" kind of showdown, you could have one of those dust balls blowing across the panel)

Dialogue box: "And now: Outtakes and deleted scenes from Bruce Campbell's Captain America audition tape!"

BC: "Buckle up ironhead, coz you're going for a ride!"


Panel 2 - Captain Ash throws his shield towards Iron Man, who easily evades it.

Dialogue box (musical lyrics, so if you could add a note or two beside the text to indicate it's music...): "When Captain America throws his mighty shiiiiiieeeeld....."

BC: "That's it, go ahead and run. Run home and cry to mama!"


Panel 3 - Iron Man sticks out his tongue at Captain Ash with the words "neener neener" surrounding his head. Don't ask how Iron Man can stick his tongue out through his helmet...

Iron Man: "That the best you can do? Haha, you're a jerk! You're a goody little two-shoes!"


Panel 4 - Close up on Captain Ash's face. He has a raised eyebrow, a la The Rock.

Off panel Iron Man voice balloon: "Goody little two-shoes!"


Panel 5 - Captain Ash's expression has changed to anger. He reaches for the boomstick strapped to his back.

Off panel Iron Man voice balloon: "Goody little two-shoes!"


Panel 6 - Captain Ash shoots Iron Man in the face...metallic helmet pieces fly everywhere and we can see part of Iron Man's brain exploding out! A big caption of "BANG!" can be placed somewhere in the panel.

Iron Man: "Goody lit..."


Panel 7 - Captain Ash stands over the body of Iron Man and kicks him in the nuts.

BC: "I'm not THAT good."

Bruce Campbell is Captain America!

Well, since I missed posting yesterday, thought I'd give my readers a bonus script to make up for the lack of one yesterday!

As I said in the previous entry, an avalanche of ideas of Bruce Campbell being Captain America flooded my head. I was getting a real kick out of writing Bruce Campbell in Cap's chainmail costume and was regurgitating ideas out of my brain faster than I could scribble them down on paper!

This one and the previous script were two of my favourite scripts to write. (Note that this script MUST come straight after the previous one, in the correct order, to lend some semblence of continuity and follow through) This was published, once again, on 5 July 2007. Enjoy.


Panel 1 - Bruce Campbell, in Captain America outfit (still with the chainsaw and the shield) posing, a la THIS image.

Dialogue box: "Exclusive! Secret tapes from Bruce Campbell's audition for the Captain America movie: revealed for the first time!"

Bruce Campbell (BC): Klaatu varada nik*coughcoughcough*to!


Panel 2 - Captain America slugging Iron Man (Theo: If you could make it such that it looks like the cover to Captain America #1, that'd be great! Perhaps show BC's chainsaw also ripping into Iron Man's armour)

Dialogue box: "See Captain America fighting for leadership of the Avengers!"

BC: "Well hello Mr Fancypants. Well, I've got news for you pal, you ain't leading but two things: Jack and shit. And Jack left town."


Panel 3 - Bruce Campbell throwing his shield into some A.I.M or Hydra agents.

Dialogue box: "Watch as Captain America protects our land from terrorists!"

BC: "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up! You see this? This is my BOOMSTICK! Errr...shield. Sorry."


Panel 4 - Close up of Bruce Campbell pointing at the "A" on his forehead. (Theo: You MUST use this classic image right here!)


Dialogue box: "Witness Captain America's passion for the red, white and blue!"

Bruce Campbell (BC): "Surrender? SURRENDER?! You think this letter on my head stands for France?"


Panel 5 - Bruce Campbell puts his hand to the side of his mouth, as if he is whispering to the reader.

BC: "It actually stands for Ash. Ashley J. Williams. Who wants to know?"


Panel 6 - Bruce Campbell bends a hot chick backwards (think one of those trashy romance novel covers) and is just about to kiss her.

Dialogue box: "See Captain America save the day and then get the girl!"

BC: "Gimme some sugar baby."


Panel 7 - Captain America in a traditional "US Rules!" pose (Perhaps something like the background image here)

Dialogue box: "Come watch Captain America: the sure-to-be highest grossing blockbuster movie of 2008, coming soon to a cinema near you!"

BC: "Hail to the king, baby."


After this script was posted, Theo came up with this brilliant idea too!


Hey Ian, how about this image drawn as the panel before the one where he points to the "A" on his head? Imagine him going: "What's that? Surrender?"

And then the next panel is the classic Capt A one. Hehehe.. :oD


Funny funny stuff! Our love for Bruce Campbell (and not in a gay way, not that there's anything wrong with that) knows no bounds!

Captain America: Groovy

Alrighty...the next couple of scripts I wrote were just an exploration of an idea Theo had. He posted up this entry:

Bruce Campbell auditioning for The Comedian

Hey Ian! Remember how I said BC looks perfect for the role of The Comedian in the coming Watchmen movie? How about a script of BC auditioning for the character, but still very much in his Ash mentality?

E.g. saying "Groovy." when given a form to fill in, or "Come get some." when it's his turn. And maybe one of the last few panels or something where one of the staff (a woman for our purposes) says he can't get the part. BC (Ash) then gets mad and says "Yo, she-bitch, let's go!!!" and then there's a full shot of BC in Ash mode complete with buzzing chainsaw and classic crazy Ash grin on his face.

OH!!! AND LEST I FORGET!! The reason why he's probably rejected is because he forgets his part!! Like you know how he forgets the magic word in the movie? Like "Clatto Verata Niii *cough cough*" Haha, get what I mean? :oD

Maybe a scene of him and the director of Watchmen could go like this too:

Zach Snyder: You're not one of my actors... who are you?
Ash: Who wants to know?
Zach Snyder: I am Zach Snyder. Director of 300 and Watchmen, Lord of the box office in early 2007 and leader of its fans.
Ash: Well hello Mister Fancypants. Well, I've got news for you pal, you ain't leadin' but two things right now: Jack and shit... and Jack just left town.


That's a pretty funny script in his own. I had Marvel Comics on my mind at the time, since I'd just written the Wolverine script, and I thought: what a great idea, BC auditioning for roles, now that he's sort of a has-been actor!

And then it hit me. Captain America recently died in comics and I really wanted to do something to honour him in memorium. And since Theo was talking about Bruce Campbell, and idea just clicked in my head.

So on 5 July 2007, this script was born:


Panel 1 - Image of Captain America surrendering to Iron Man (check out pages of Civil War #7 for a shot). Perhaps he could have his arms together, stretched out, as if presenting himself to be handcuffed. (It'd be funny if someone threw something at Iron Man's head and it bounced off...or splashed like a tomato)

Dialogue box: "In 2007, Captain America voluntarily surrendered to S.H.I.E.L.D and the forces led by Iron Man to end the Marvel Civil War."


Panel 2 - Image of Captain America being handcuffed and led away.

Dialogue box: "Captain America was arrested and put on a very public trial."


Panel 3 - Captain America, lying on the ground bleeding to death. (Check out this picture for reference)

Dialogue box: "But a single bullet from an assassin's rifle ended his legacy."


Panel 4 - completely black, with only the text in white.

Text going across the middle of the panel as large as possible: "Or did it?"


Panel 5 - Ash mimicking his pose from Army of Darkness but in a Captain America costume. The "wench" by his side is wearing a S.H.I.E.L.D uniform - Sharon Carter perhaps? (Theo: Perhaps for this, it'd be great to recreate the ENTIRE movie poster of Army of Darkness - click to see - but dress Ash up in a Captain America costume. His chainsaw MUST be seen though. Please put Captain America's shield in Ash's left hand though)

Dialogue box at the top of the panel: "Coming in 2008: Bruce Campbell auditions for the Captain America live action movie!"

Bruce Campbell: "Groovy.


That was just the start of the avalanche of ideas featuring Bruce Campbell as Captain America. Stay tuned for more of that in the next couple of days!

Bruce Campbell Vs Doom!

About a month ago, I blogged a quick review about Marvel Zombies Vs Army of Darkness:

New comics reviews!

In it I mentioned the best and funniest part about the series was when Ash poked fun at Dr Doom...well, at least off panel, since Doom refers to it in a word balloon.

Thanks to Theo's scans, I can now show the hilarious page in question!


Haha!

Oh, the Captain America Omnibus HC should be out today and the Marvel Zombies Vs Army of Darkness HC should be out next week! What a glorious time to be a comic book geek...especially after my first paycheck in the current job hit my account yesterday. :D

Freddy! Versus Jason! Versus Ash!

Holy cow! Freddy Vs Jason Vs ASH from Army of Darkness!?

I don't really care about Freddy or Jason...but I'd love to see Ash wipe the floor with them in his classic, inimitable style.

Imagine him calling Freddy and Jason a bunch of fancypants she-bitches. Imagine them turning to him and him realising he's bitten off WAY more than he could chew.

Wow.


JAMES KUHORIC’S HORROR 3-WAY
The writer talks about getting paid to write fan fiction for DC and Dynamite’s Freddy Vs. Jason Vs. Ash

By Brian Warmoth

Posted September 8, 2007 12:00 PM

The Internet is awash with more fan fiction than the world could ever hope to read, but James Kuhoric snagged many a horror junkie’s dream role when Dynamite Entertainment brought him on board to write the Army of Darkness series. This November, his geeky enjoyment gets cubed as DC and Dynamite launch their three-pronged horrorfest Freddy Vs. Jason Vs. Ash by Kuhoric and artist Jason Craig, throwing two more icons onto the writer’s plate. And he’s ready to dive in like a starving Deadite.

Kuhoric explained the origin of the series by phone, recounting the story of its rise from a canned film pitch from Jeff Katz to finding a home in comics—and if one thing is clear, it’s that the book would have been hard-pressed to find a writer better versed in its three franchises of horror mythos.

WIZARD: How do you think you got matched up with this project?
KUHORIC: They looked me up because of my work on Army of Darkness. I’ve been on it for a couple of years now. We’ve had a number of adventures with Ash. We’ve really put him through the wringer so far, and I can’t think of a better way to test his limits than to put him up against somebody like Jason or Freddy.

What has the experience been like for you as a creator working with movie icons you were previously familiar with from the outside?

KUHORIC: It’s been great. “Army of Darkness” and “Evil Dead” have been some of my favorite films of all time, and getting a chance to play around with one of the most iconic characters of weird, goofy horror and humor movies with Ash has been a great experience. Anytime you get to play around with something you enjoy, it’s the best of both worlds.

Is there going to be any carryover from the Ash stuff you’ve done up until this point, or how did you jump into this new story? Or is it off in its own world?

KUHORIC: For this project, it all started with Jeff Katz a couple of years ago when he was looking at coming up with a sequel to “Freddy vs. Jason” and pitching the horror movie that everybody wanted to see—putting Ash in the “Nightmare” and “Friday” worlds, giving him a chance to fight some of the best monster movie guys that have been created over the last three or four decades. I was lucky enough to have my name brought up in the talent pool when they were talking about who would be a good person to fill in the blanks on Jeff’s treatment. And since they asked me, obviously I was very interested.

So did Katz originally come with the script to Dynamite? Or did Nick Barrucci just know that the script was floating around out there?

KUHORIC: I think he knew. When we talked to people over at WildStorm about dealing with New Line and the potential of doing a crossover for the comic books, it was fairly well known over at New Line that the treatment existed. I don’t know how well known it was in the general public, because I didn’t know it had gotten that far. I knew there was a lot of talk about the movie several years ago. It seemed like it was moving forward until all of the sudden, literally overnight it crashed.

But there was a treatment done, and Jeff did the treatment for it which was approved by New Line and MGM at the time. So it was in existence and we thought, “What a great place to start in a day when we’re seeing a lot of TV stuff done in comics, with Buffy and Angel and whatnot, to bring about a movie that because of some Hollywood problems will never get made.” We can make it in comics.

What’s the point of entry for the story in the comic?

KUHORIC: It’s kind of a direct sequel to “Freddy Vs. Jason.” It happens about five years after the movie. At the end of “Freddy Vs. Jason,” Freddy is dead for all intents and purposes, but he is still alive in a tiny little portion of Jason’s brain, and he essentially can only use Jason as his earthly means to try to come back. The story is Freddy’s gambit to try to get the Necronomicon to allow him to come back at full strength, and it just so happens that our boy Ash is being transferred to the Crystal Lake version of the Mega Super Ultra S-Mart and stumbles right into the middle of it.

So will there be one penultimate fight seen where all three of them rumble at the same time?

KUHORIC: There’s not going to be one. There’s going to be many. From issue #3 on it’s a rolling fight between these guys. It’s pretty exciting.

Who has the advantage over whom in the scheme of this epic altercation? How does that work out?

KUHORIC: Wow. [Takes a deep breath] How does that work out? They each have different strengths. Jason is this unstoppable force. Freddy is a finesse guy. And Ash is just a lead-with-your-chin kind of guy. If you look at the match-up of the three, the best of the whole series is seeing what these guys can do to each other. When you get to the end and see who finally wins—

Wait, so someone actually wins? As in one of the three of them will come out on top?

KUHORIC: All I’m saying is that someone will walk away. The fun of it is that these guys are classics when it comes to movie monsters. Even Ash is thrown in there. Having a chance to put them in the same world and see them duke it out and all the craziness that ensues is awesome. It’s definitely going to be a fan favorite.

In his original treatment, Jeff didn’t hold anything back. The stuff that happens is crazy!

What’s the setting for the series? You said it kicks off in Crystal Lake.

KUHORIC: It’s in Crystal Lake, which is where Jason is always at—unless he’s in space or in hell or in New York. Crystal Lake has had five years of peace since the “Freddy Vs. Jason” movie, and they think that they’ve moved on. They’re even renaming the town to Forest Green, which is a nod to “Friday VI” where they have the name changed. The whole area has been redeveloped, and they’re trying to move ahead, and Jason has been very quiet obviously when Freddy starts up the craziness again. That’s where we pick up the story—in that pre-holiday renaming festival atmosphere.

How widely does your familiarity go with the Freddy and Jason movies? There are so many.

KUHORIC: To be honest with you, I’ve seen them all about 10 times each.

[Laughs] Really? Even the outer space installment?

KUHORIC: Oh, that one is great! That’s probably one of the three best “Friday” films.

Which other movies make up your top three?

KUHORIC: Obviously the first one. That one is fantastic. “Jason X” is a lot of fun because it’s not serious at all. Just putting him into space, seeing the upgrade, the robot, and seeing the virtual destruction when he gets put into the virtual room with the Camp Crystal Lake girls—that’s just fun stuff. I’m not saying it’s one of the best movies of all time, but it’s certainly fun to watch.

Then, I’d probably say “Jason Goes to Hell.” It wasn’t a great movie, but the ending with the Freddy glove coming out was classic. That set up a lot of stuff.

I’ve watched all of them a bunch of times, and I own all of the DVDs, so I pop them in for reference all the time.

I knew you were a fan, but I did not know you were a superfan.

KUHORIC: I’m an über-geek when it comes to this stuff, and that’s one of the coolest parts about the whole project. Jeff is a huge fan. He’s the guy who was behind “Freddy Vs. Jason.” Jason Craig, the artist, is a real “Friday” fiend. He’s a guy who knows Jason backwards and forwards. Tom Mason’s a big “Nightmare” guy, and obviously I’ve been a huge fan of the “Evil Dead” stuff forever. We’re all acting as checks and balances against each other to make sure everybody acts right and does what they should do.