The next script comes courtesy of Theo. I had no part in scripting it (except for a tiny little edit and giving additional suggestions). We were chatting over the phone about how we used to laugh at our little in-jokes that we'd create when watching movies and he came up with this:
Right, Ian and I were discussing our Lord of The Rings jokes quite a long time ago and how we'd have Hugo Weaving saying to Frodo: "Welcome to the Matrix, Frodo" and Gandalf proclaiming that he is Magneto... then in all the Captain A(sh) furore, I came up with this:
Agent Smith (asking gravely and pointing at Captain Ash's forehead): What's the A on your head stand for? Anderson?
Capt Ash: Who wants to know?
Agent Smith: I am Agent Smith. Agent of the Matrix, some time rebel leader of the elves, leader of the Decepticons and anarchist, V.
Ash: Well hello Mister Fancypants. Well, I've got news for you pal, you ain't leadin' but two things: Jack and shit... and Jack just left town.
*points double barreled shotgun under Smith's nose and shoots*
Ian: Just added that red bit there since Hugo Weaving also voiced Megatron in the live action Transformers movie!