Lara Croft vs. Indiana Jones Art by TERRY and RACHEL DODSON
|TALE OF THE TAPE|
|Lara Croft||Indiana Jones|
|110 lbs||Weight||185 lbs|
|38 DD||Guns||.38 caliber|
|53,083||Number of Nude Web sites||1|
THE PLAYERS...After a plane crash stranded Lara Croft in a frozen wasteland, the spoiled socialite battled back to civilization alone. Through
rigorous training, the selfish party girl evolved into an archaeologist/adventurer and the world’s most dangerous tomb raider.
College professor Indiana Jones splits his time as an archaeologist/adventurer. Armed with his trademark bullwhip, Indy’s battled Nazis and death cults to obtain some of the world’s most powerful and dangerous artifacts
THE BATTLE...Deep within an Incan temple in Machu Picchu, Peru, Indiana Jones disarms the last poison-arrow trap before snatching the ancient Vilcanota River scrolls. Packing them in his leather satchel, Indy hears a noise from above and instinctively dives to his right, just missing getting flattened by a stone idol. Cleaning off his dusty fedora, Indy calls his opponent out. Suddenly, a hail of bullets punctuates his sentence, as Lara Croft deftly dives into the room, firing as she somersaults down. Ducking for cover behind broken columns, Indy takes a bullet in the leg. Clearly outgunned, he tosses his satchel at Lara’s feet. By the time she scoops up the bag and notices the scrolls are missing, it’s far too late. Indy’s already disarmed her with his whip and toppled a sacrificial alter onto her legs, pinning her. Ensuring the scrolls are safely in his shirt, Indy grabs his bag and limps out of the temple, cursing that he’s too old for this crap.