Weapon Ecchs: Comics' craziest weapons

Wizard has come up with some wacky and zany columns and features in the past. But man, they don't get much crazier than this one!


WEAPON ECCHS: COMICS’ CRAZIEST WEAPONS
From banjos to fishing rods, peek inside the vault of comics’ craziest weapons

By the Wizard Staff; illustrations by Kevin Sharpe

Posted November 15, 2007 11:45 AM

When the “Venom Virus” hit the Marvel Universe in Mighty Avengers this month, it may have seemed bizarre that a biological weapon could turn you into an alien symbiote who likes to dress like Johnny Cash. But look hard enough, and you’ll find that stranger armaments have pooped, crowbarred and banjoed their way across the pages of comics all for the good of evil…

THE WRECKER’S ‘MAGIC CROWBAR’
This Thor villain’s wacky wedge combines the power of Mjolnir with the usefulness of a tool belt on Andy Dick.

THE FISHERMAN’S ‘FISHING ROD WITH BIG HOOK’
Three words for this Aquaman nemesis’ arsenal: “hook,” “line” and “stinker.”

PASTE POT PETE’S ‘GLUE GUN’
You’re huffing your own ammunition if you think heroes like the Fantastic Four are gonna quake in fear at an arsenal cribbed from the office supply closet.

TURNER D. CENTURY’S ‘TIME HORN’
This dude, who was killed by Scourge years ago, wielded a deadly musical instrument that killed people under 65. Just like a Barry Manilow concert.

MR. BANJO’S ‘NAZI BANJO’
During World War II, this fiendish fingerpicker used his banjo to broadcast secret messages to enemies of the United States, proving another in a long line of connections between banjo music and Nazis.

DUNG’S ‘DUAL POOP CANNONS’
This Savage Dragon baddie’s bowel-emptying cannons have dumped more manure on people than a Dave Matthews tour bus.




Dual poop cannons!? Ewwww. I certainly remember Paste Pot Pete...though he's rather be known as "The Trapster" now. And the Wrecker's crowbar isn't THAT bad. Compared to the other junk on this list that is. At least a crowbar is for DESTRUCTION! Though it's kind of weird to think that it's awesomely powerful, magically-imbued by Loki.

And wasn't there a DC character who had a welding gun for a weapon? He welded DOGS to people and I think he was in the pages of Hitman. Man, that was insane.