Captain America: Groovy

Alrighty...the next couple of scripts I wrote were just an exploration of an idea Theo had. He posted up this entry:

Bruce Campbell auditioning for The Comedian

Hey Ian! Remember how I said BC looks perfect for the role of The Comedian in the coming Watchmen movie? How about a script of BC auditioning for the character, but still very much in his Ash mentality?

E.g. saying "Groovy." when given a form to fill in, or "Come get some." when it's his turn. And maybe one of the last few panels or something where one of the staff (a woman for our purposes) says he can't get the part. BC (Ash) then gets mad and says "Yo, she-bitch, let's go!!!" and then there's a full shot of BC in Ash mode complete with buzzing chainsaw and classic crazy Ash grin on his face.

OH!!! AND LEST I FORGET!! The reason why he's probably rejected is because he forgets his part!! Like you know how he forgets the magic word in the movie? Like "Clatto Verata Niii *cough cough*" Haha, get what I mean? :oD

Maybe a scene of him and the director of Watchmen could go like this too:

Zach Snyder: You're not one of my actors... who are you?
Ash: Who wants to know?
Zach Snyder: I am Zach Snyder. Director of 300 and Watchmen, Lord of the box office in early 2007 and leader of its fans.
Ash: Well hello Mister Fancypants. Well, I've got news for you pal, you ain't leadin' but two things right now: Jack and shit... and Jack just left town.


That's a pretty funny script in his own. I had Marvel Comics on my mind at the time, since I'd just written the Wolverine script, and I thought: what a great idea, BC auditioning for roles, now that he's sort of a has-been actor!

And then it hit me. Captain America recently died in comics and I really wanted to do something to honour him in memorium. And since Theo was talking about Bruce Campbell, and idea just clicked in my head.

So on 5 July 2007, this script was born:


Panel 1 - Image of Captain America surrendering to Iron Man (check out pages of Civil War #7 for a shot). Perhaps he could have his arms together, stretched out, as if presenting himself to be handcuffed. (It'd be funny if someone threw something at Iron Man's head and it bounced off...or splashed like a tomato)

Dialogue box: "In 2007, Captain America voluntarily surrendered to S.H.I.E.L.D and the forces led by Iron Man to end the Marvel Civil War."


Panel 2 - Image of Captain America being handcuffed and led away.

Dialogue box: "Captain America was arrested and put on a very public trial."


Panel 3 - Captain America, lying on the ground bleeding to death. (Check out this picture for reference)

Dialogue box: "But a single bullet from an assassin's rifle ended his legacy."


Panel 4 - completely black, with only the text in white.

Text going across the middle of the panel as large as possible: "Or did it?"


Panel 5 - Ash mimicking his pose from Army of Darkness but in a Captain America costume. The "wench" by his side is wearing a S.H.I.E.L.D uniform - Sharon Carter perhaps? (Theo: Perhaps for this, it'd be great to recreate the ENTIRE movie poster of Army of Darkness - click to see - but dress Ash up in a Captain America costume. His chainsaw MUST be seen though. Please put Captain America's shield in Ash's left hand though)

Dialogue box at the top of the panel: "Coming in 2008: Bruce Campbell auditions for the Captain America live action movie!"

Bruce Campbell: "Groovy.


That was just the start of the avalanche of ideas featuring Bruce Campbell as Captain America. Stay tuned for more of that in the next couple of days!