Tuesday, September 18, 2007

LMS: DC/Marvel Girls gone wild!

Into the final three LMS features!

This time around, it's a free-for-all battle between the heroes of the fairer gender of the Marvel and DC universes. With awesome art by Ed Benes, the current penciller on JLA.

Can you spell "catfight"?

LAST MAN STANDING
DC/Marvel Girls gone wild! Art by Ed Benes & Alex Lei


TALE OF THE TAPE
All the
Marvel chicks

All the DC
tamatas
Jean Grey,
mutant married
to Cyclops
Big GunWonder Woman,
mythological broad
who fought a cyclops
FirestarHot RedheadStarfire
MidriffMost exploited
surface
Cleavage
Trading
Spaces
Favorite show
(collectively)
Will &
Grace

A flash of light, the sizzle of scorched ozone and all the female heroes of the Marvel and DC Universes find themselves face to face with one thought burning brightly in their minds: FIGHT! Wonder Woman leads the charge, barreling through Rogue and Warbird before being locked in battle with an enraged She-Hulk. Elektra makes short work of the Huntress and Black Canary before being fought to a standstill by Batgirl. The temperature begins to climb on the battlefield, but the women—costumes pasted to their tight superheroine bodies with sweat—carry on.

Starfire slips into her berserker warrior mode, cutting low the Scarlet Witch and Storm before meeting her match in the Invisible Woman. With costumes torn and tattered, the battle rages. Jean Grey feels the Phoenix Force begin to build and welcomes it, rebuffing the combined attacks of Power Girl, Mary Marvel and Hawkgirl. Star vs. Spider-Girl! Jade vs. the Wasp! White Queen vs. Saturn Girl! The Marvel heroines— bosoms heaving, bodies exhausted, their powers nearly depleted—look to even the odds by bogging down DC’s speedsters, and strategically move the battlefield to a large kiddie pool filled with butterscotch pudding. Black Cat pulls at Wonder Girl’s hair, Mystique slaps Harley Quinn and Black Widow tackles Poison Ivy, pinning her to the floor.

“Not too shabby, eh?” asks the Watcher, giving Superman a nudge as they both peer through his “What If?” portal of infinite possibilities. “You kiddin’?” smiles the Kryptonian, downing another handful of delectably sweet Orville Reddenbacher Kettle Corn. “This kicks X-ray vision’s ass!”

Winner: Uatu & Kal


If this were a battle based on sheer hotness, I'd have to give the gong to Marvel. Yes, DC DOES have Black Canary and the boobs machine that is Power Girl, but how can they fight the eye candy from Marvel's stable that includes Emma Frost, Elektra, Jean Grey, Psylocke, She-Hulk, Black Cat and the Invisible Woman, just to name a few?

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